Stretchy-wetchy

My hell of a long day is finally over!

I swore my heart nearly missed a beat when I realized I filled myself to the brim with things to complete/attend.

A full day in school starting at a ridiculous (and probably should be made illegal) 10.00am. Which meant that I had to crawl out of bed at 7-freaking-a.m. As if that's not enough, the weather was being annoying chilly. The perfect sweater/stay-in-bed weather >:( Right after classes, had to rush down to Caldecott for tuition, because we all now how packed A2 buses can get. SOOO satisfied when I got a seat. I walked all the way to the TH bus stop so that it wouldn't be too squishy:) Then after tuition, rushed home for a quick dinner (annoying soggy Nasi Lemak!) and then rushed to my driving lessons.

WHAT A DAY!

Couldn't have made it if I didn't get coffee from The Deck.

On the way home from tuition, I met an old friend from Chung Cheng who was just coming home from NS. We talked the whole trainride back. I think sometimes when you suddenly reconnect with people you haven't met in a while, you start becoming a little self-reflective. As though everything was left from where the 2 of you last met.

We were talking about University admission interviews, which reminded me of how I screwed up my SMU interview a year ago. Needless to say, I got rejected. HEART SHATTERED!

On the point of interviews, I plainly suck at them. Sometimes when friends bring up examples of interview questions, I amaze myself with the things I can come up with in my head. But when it boils down to being seated infront of a panel of interviewers, my mind is a blank sheet and I'm reduced to a nervous, blabbering idiot.

Spontaneity does not work well with me. And especially since I can't really handle speaking confidently infront of a stranger. I'm no stranger to my own mind, but placed outside of that, I look like I cannot form opinions of my own.

This is bad. This is bad because I know how this is going to reflect badly on me in the future. It's not like I don't want to change the way I present myself. It's not like I choose to camouflage into the surroundings. Its just that I'm so comfortable with the idea of taking the backseat that it becomes so difficult to make the effort to stand out, to project myself. Then again this is all about stepping out of my comfort zone. I'm going to start with baby steps and hopefully something will grow out of this.

Really have no idea why I'm writing all of this down. It's just for today, it's annoying the crap out of me. Too tired, meh...